watching movies one cup at a time

Welcome to Ice Cubes In My Coffee :: The Caffeinated Movie Guide. I love movies and I have strong opinions about all of them. When they are great, they can change your life. And when they suck, you can at least have fun ripping them to shreds. I have seen a million movies and I have a bunch of movie facts and trivia stored up in my head - it's time to share. I'm going to be filling this movie guide with reviews on an ongoing basis, building up a large library of reviews so YOU, the movie-watching public, will know what movies are essential viewing and what movies you must avoid at all costs (hint: anything with the words "Starring Dane Cook"). I will also be posting some interesting articles and lists along the way as well. So grab a cup of joe and settle in for some movie talk!
      -- Mr. Coffee

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Starring: Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis
Director: Tim Story
Year of Release: 2007
 Rated 4 cups

Yea, this kinda sucked. I think we all knew that going in. When Spider-man made $50 bazillion at the box office, it was only a matter of time before a horde of superhero flicks showed up, passed out by an all too eager Marvel Comics looking for some cash. So we get two Fantastic Four movies as they make a weak attempt at establishing a franchise.

The first FF wasn’t good and this one is actually worse. The story is paper-thin and so are the characters. Jessica Alba looks like a robot the whole time and any hint at drama from the first film is stripped away in favor of cliché, unfunny jokes about marriage and celebrity. And added to that are pointless scenes of stupidity like Reed Richards squiggle dancing at a nightclub. Huh? Ioan Gruffudd is okay as an actor but I always thought he was miscast in these movies as Reed Richards. In fact, none of the Four are anyone I would want to even spend 5 minutes with, and certainly not cast as heroes.

The Silver Surfer character I think was maybe popular in the ’70s. Why bring him to the movies now? He’s dull. And villains who are all-powerful and catch missiles like they’re twigs doesn’t make for good action. Fights tend to be over really fast. And all of a sudden he’s a good guy? And he could have killed his boss, the almighty planet destroyer, the whole time? Why didn’t he do that before and go back to his home planet? Or at least do it and spare all the other worlds? Are they trying to tell us that the power of Jessica Alba’s hotness can save the planet? Weak.

The Silver Surfer was a little too CGI I thought. And I know that’s hard because he’s all silver and pretty much has to be all computer-generated most of the time, but no one forced them to put an all silver dude in the movie. The FF have been around forever, they have plenty of enemies to choose from. Really all the cool effects were already in the trailer. So if you saw the traile, you saw all the best parts already.

Another lame entry from Jessica Alba. Hmmm, I detect a pattern.

Filed Under (F, Movie Reviews) by admin on 04-03-2008 | Read More

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