watching movies one cup at a time

Dude, that was messed up. There was some twisted stuff in this movie. Kids getting chest-bursts, a pregnant lady, parents, people getting killed constantly - it was pretty gruesome. And the main problem with all that is it felt really cold-blooded. This movie had no heart, it had no purpose. It was just a series of scenes filled with senseless violence. It felt like the kind of movie that a couple of dorky fanboys would make if given the chance, kind of like if Beavis and Butthead did an Aliens movie. I can just see the film-makers sitting around a stale pizza taking a break from Worlds Of Warcrack and saying “Hey, you know what would be freakin’ cool? If we had a kid get a chest-burst. That would be AWESOME!”

And hey, in all honesty, maybe I’m not the one this movie was made for. Maybe I’m the one who’s thinking too much and should just keep it to myself. But this isn’t stupid Freddy Kreuger we’re talking about. This is the Aliens movies. These movies have had amazing directors like Ridley Scott, James Cameron, David Fincher, and Jean-Pierre Jeunet. And they told some real stories mixed in with the action. Some better than others. But the point is they weren’t so mindless, and skilled directors with a good cast were able to make interesting films. The Predator series on the other hand always kinda sucked. And maybe it’s watering down the Alien movie mythology too much.

The Alien creature started out in the very first Alien movie as just one creature loose in a big ship. It was scary and intimidating. But now it’s gotten to the point where they are pretty much no big deal. Yea, they are scary and are killing machines. But it’s not as intimidating when you have hundreds of them running around like rats and getting mowed down pretty easily. It takes away the mystique and the unknowing dread. And it pretty much just devolves the movie into a mindless action flick. “Plot? Larger story arc? Feh, who needs ‘em? Let’s show this dude getting his face melted off with acid blood! F*** YEA!”

There are no name actors in this movie and the cast is pretty forgettable. The directing is mediocre and about what should be expected from a movie on this low level. This is the first feature film directing gig for the pretentiously titled “The Brothers Strause” and they were effects guys before making the leap to directing. That really shows through in the movie - all style, no substance. It makes sense that effects guys would make a movie where they’re more interested in “shocking” the audience with constant bloody killings instead of looking to reveal any deeper allegory or symbolism.

Purists don’t consider the two AVP movies to be a part of the real Alien canon. And probably the Alien canon should have stopped anyway after the second movie directed by James Cameron. But I guess there is a demand for c-grade horror movies out there like Resident Evil and Freddy vs. Jason; Mindless popcorn flicks released to entertain young adults. It’s just too bad that Aliens had to dip so low and go from being a fine boutique to a big ugly Wal-Mart.