watching movies one cup at a time

It’s been 10 years since the last X-Files movie, 6 years since the series ended, and it’s heyday was in the late ’90s. So why drag it out of retirement now? Is there a story that just has to be told? More secrets to reveal? Sadly no. The movie doesn’t seem to serve any purpose except to give Duchovny, Anderson, and Chris Carter something to do. The movie is essentially a glorified TV episode and not a very good one. The story is very boring and hardly seems worth the effort at all. We waited all these years for this!? Spare us. If that’s all you got then just let the X-Files die.

Bottom Line: It’s a waste of time. Rent if you’re an X-Files fan, otherwise skip it.

John Carpenter’s attempt at political commentary is pretty ham-fisted. Not going for subtlety, he creates a world where everything is going to hell fast and weird skinless aliens are the cause. And they just happen to be brainwashing all of us through sublimal messages behind everything. Messages like “Obey” “Submit” and “Marry and procreate.” And with “Rowdy” Roddy Piper in the lead role, you know this is going to be more like Die Hard than All The President’s Men. For what it is, it’s not bad. It does provide a way to criticize Ronald Reagan’s Yuppie Utopia of the ’80s and feed into a million conspiracy theories about how this government is controlling us. Aliens? More like the ruling class. I think it’s a little optimistic to pin this on aliens and not the evil nature of men. They don’t need an alien to dupe them into manipulating the masses. But it’s a simple, kinda fun movie. And since we are being manipulated anyway, anyone drawing attention to it is a good thing.

Holy Hell, that sucked! You know, going into Transformers 2 I didn’t have very high expectations. Exploding crap, fighting robots, hot chicks, I get it. But even with low expectations this film was painful to sit through. It goes so far beyond ridiculous that I have to narrow it down to the Top 10 Reasons Transformers 2 Sucked:

10. Whirling robot chaos – when the robots fight, there is so much going on that I can’t even tell where one robot ends and the other begins. It’s just one big flurry of robot crap. I’m all for robots beating the crap out of each other, but this a mess.

9. Egypt is a stereotype from hell – This movie makes Egypt out to be every generic cliche someone who has never been there could possibly come up with. According to this movie, the entire country of Egypt is one big dessert with ancient runes all over the place, camels, and blown-out remnants of walls. The Egyptian people are just ignorant peasant in robes with chickens running around their homes in the middle of the dessert where they all apparently live. It’s ignorant and racist.

8. The “Ghetto” robot twins – Speaking of racist, what’s up with the f-ing Amos and Andy robots? They are practically in blackface doing a minstrel show. It’s just one cliche stereotype after another! Read the rest of this entry »

I like vampire movies. I like them a lot. I am not so fond of teen romance dramas. Not so fond at all. Going in to Twilight I knew I was going to get some weird mish-mash of vampire movie and teen romance drama, but what I didn’t know was that I was going to being getting a movie that was ENTIRELY teen romance drama with just a little sprinkling of vampire underlying 2 hours of a guy with too much make-up on staring at Kristen Stewart. Clearly this movie (and the books it’s based on) is for lovesick teen girls who want to “fall in love forever!” with some hot, loner dude who only has eyes for them. And that is really NOT what I am interested in from a vamp flick.

It’s just non-stop fantasy that feels like it was written by some girl who didn’t get asked to the prom so they stayed home whining about it and pouring their angst into a drippy, melodramatic story. And then they threw vampires in to the mix just to make it “edgy”, but in a very non-edgy way. Seriously, there could not be any wussier vampires on the planet. They go out in the sunlight, they only eat animals in the forest, and they go to high school. What!? Do you think the vamps in The Lost Boys worried about f*cking high school? Hell no!

And the so-called “evil vampires” just really feels tacked on and uninteresting. All-of-a-sudden they show up and everyone freaks out and for some unclear reason they want to kill the human chick, Bella. Just cuz I guess. They fly across the country (!) and beat each other up in some silly wrestling match that looks like it was choreographed by Cirque Du Soleil. Then pretty much without a whole lotta effort, they kill the “bad guy” and light his ass on fire. There, problem solved in about 15 whole minutes. Hardly seems worth the effort at all really.

If you’re a lonely teenage girl, hey, more power to ya. I’m sure you’ll love this as you cry about how you’ll never find “my Edward”. But it’s not for me and it’s not for anyone who is in to vampire movies… like, at ALL.

This is the third film in the so-called “Twilight Saga” and the ads for this movie promised a lot more action than the previous two. Ultimately though it’s just the continuation of the same melodrama and weak story from the other Twilight movies. We do get more scenes of vampires and werewolves kickin’ some ass, but it’s far too short and the “big battle” towards the end is not that big or much of a battle either. It’s pretty much over in about 5 minutes with no real threat displayed and no real consequences, other than pretty easily killing off the villains who seem to be obsessed with killing Bela for no real established reason. Seriously, why are they so desperate to kill her? It’s really never made clear in any satisfying way. It just feels like a puffed-up excuse to have Edward and Jacob both say a million times “I did it to protect you” and “I would rather die than let anything ever happen to you.” But why does this motivate the entire Cullen clan AND now the werewolf pack to put their lives on the line to defend her? And defending her is apparently really easy because, like I said, the “big battle” is over pretty quick despite the main villain, Victoria, taking a whole year to build up this apparently impotent vampire army.

What I did like about this movie was how they went more in to the backstory of some of the vampire characters. I find that part is always interesting, especially in other vampire stories like the vastly superior True Blood. I liked the new villain, Riley, and the scenes of him causing havoc in Seattle. I currently live in Seattle and wouldn’t mind seeing some hipsters get chomped on. But his scenes were far too short and left me wanting more.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve already said in my review of the first Twilight movie that I am way more in to vampire movies than I am in to sappy, teenage romance movies. And these are the lamest vampires ever. The new sequel doesn’t change any of that and in fact is WAY more sappy and melodramatic than the first one. New Moon is a way over-the-top romance novel come to life as pouting, angsty teenagers say god awful dialogue about being together forever, being hurt, never leaving you, and then leaving you. It’s SO cliche and SO ridiculous I wonder how anyone can actually buy in to it. Are people that lonely and desperate that they think this qualifies as a movie they can actually sit through without completely gagging?

And oh my god, could Kristen Stewart possibly be any more whiny and miserable? Constant drama with her. No wonder her “normal friends” at the high school got sick of her. She spends the entire movie looking awkward and traumatized, occasionally screaming or doing something stupid like fall off a motorcycle because she “can’t live without Edward.” It get’s really old, really fast.

The one thing I did enjoy in this movie were the Volturi, and specifically Michael Sheen as Aro. Michael Sheen has already done some amazing work in Frost/Nixon, The Queen, The Deal and the Underworld Trilogy. And every time his vampire character is on screen it lights up the scene and reminds you what a real actor can do, not just some pouty teenager with too much makeup and a staring problem. I would have much preferred an entire movie just on him and the rest of the Volturi. They make the Cullen tribe look like the Brady Bunch.

But that’s the main problem with this movie. It’s all about pouty teenage romance novel crap and barely about vampires at all. I’m not a teenage girl, I’m not a lonely housewife, I don’t watch soap operas, I don’t read romance novels – this movie is clearly not for me. But on top of that it’s just a really bad movie, overly dramatic and ultimately boring.

Bottom Line: If you like cheesy romance novels, this is right up your alley. Like vampires? Go watch The Lost Boys and see how it’s done.

Pixar is really good as delivering a quality story along with it’s top-notch animation. It never fails to connect with it’s audience and use computer-animation as an artistic storytelling tool instead of a flashy gimmick. Up continues in that tradition and it is a quality movie. However, this film feels the least “fun” out of all the previous films. Overall it’s kind of a downer and not really something I would want to take a kid to. And the story itself just lacks a lot of the punch and cleverness of their earlier films. I’m not saying every Pixar film should be Finding Nemo or Toy Story, but these films are marketed to kids. And there just isn’t a lot here for kids to feel good about or relate to. Plus the entire first part of the film leading up to the main story of the floating house is a big bummer. It was a really gloomy way to start out and it really didn’t get much better until the very end.

Nevertheless, the overall movie maintained Pixar’s high standards. And I did appreciate the not-so-subtle message of our “baggage” weighing us down and keeping us from moving on and living in the present. Up is definitely worth seeing and has a lot of heart, but I would not put it up in the top grouping of Pixar films.

I like George Clooney. I think he does a great job. However I don’t think this was much of a stretch for him. This role just feels like he’s out there doing his “George Clooney-thing.” And not much else. Not that there is anything wrong with that but I don’t think it deserves an Oscar nomination. He could do this part in his sleep. Good thing for us though the part is very compelling and enjoyable. His character, a hired-gun sent to fire large groups of staff from corporations, is never 2-dimensional or flat. In fact I think most people would welcome the chance to get fired by him. And his whole pseudo-zen philosophy of not holding on to attachments is interesting not only because it clearly gives him the emotional distance he needs to survive, but also because it comes crashing down so easily and quickly when his genuine loneliness is let out of it’s cage. And of course he suffers the consequences of letting his guard down but at the same time allows connections he didn’t realize he desperately needed.

The other thread through this movie is the economic downturn and the very real unemployment situation that exists in this country. I’m sure few of us know anyone who has not been affected in some way by layoffs and downsizing. The director used real people who had been laid-off for some of the exit interview footage and it really helped bring home what’s going on in people’s lives.

Vera Farmiga and Anna Kendrick are great as well in this movie. Vera’s character is interesting and ultimately heartbreaking as a person trying to live both sides of George Clooney’s no-attachment philosophy. And I enjoyed Anna Kendrick as the big-idea go-getter who finds out the world is more complex than numbers and scripts. He inner tension is never cliche or exaggerated to extremes.

Bottom Line: Great movie, go see it.

I feel like this movie got kind of brushed off. It was delayed for quite awhile before it came out and so by the time it hit theaters at the end of 2008 it was kind of an afterthought. And it didn’t help that Tom Cruise has been riding a negative publicity wave surrounding his controversial Scientology religion and tabloid fare. But despite how people may feel about Tom Cruise and Scientology, he consistently delivers a great performance in all of his movies and it would be a mistake to dismiss a quality movie like this just because of the actor’s personal life.

Directed by the extremely talented Bryan Singer, Valkyrie delivers a compelling story about a part of history we never hear about in the United States. We never hear about the German citizens who chose to rebel against Hitler in the face of tremendous pressure and risk during WWII. A friend of mine who had lived in Germany said that some felt that Germans didn’t need a “Hollywood” movie about their past. But the truth is millions more will hear about this from this movie than a small independent or a documentary. And despite being a so-called “Hollywood” movie, this film has a stellar ensemble cast doing top-notch work. And no one does a better job than Tom Cruise.

The story follows Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg who becomes involved in a plan to take down Hitler and launch a political coup to topple the Third Reich before they lead Germany and the rest of Europe into further destruction and chaos. Many join the cause in the face of oppressive and mandatory loyalty that is enforced through constant threats and coercion. It’s dangerous and risky but we all know the outcome. No spoiler alert necessary. But I never knew about this before and I think it’s important to know that not all German’s citizens, even members of Hitler’s “inner circle,” went along with Hitler.

It’s a quality movie definitely worth watching.

As thrillers go, this was really good. It never got boring and the structure of the film was fast-paced and effective. In the film, an assassination attempt is made on the President of the U.S. while he’s in Spain for a summit meeting. The assassination attempt is followed by a bombing in the plaza where everything is happening. What makes this film interesting though is we get to see the incident from the perspective of 5 different people who were a part of it, and then one big climatic view that ties everything and everyone together. As each person’s view is told, we find out more and more about what happened and who’s responsible. It was very impressive how they kept the different views fresh and only revealed things little by little. And the action level was kept on high throughout the whole movie, kind of like a Bourne flick.

Bottom Line: Lots of car chases, guns, bombs, what’s not to like?